It has been some time now, I have been trying to keep a habit to write every day. With the lifestyle I live, I need this. I need this to move ahead in life. writing blog posts every day or at least try is to get into my practice again. Because I stopped doing this and I had been focusing on my music. WHich is an excuse not to write because sometimes I don’t know what shape this will take. It’s an ongoing process. Coming to terms with myself.
I still can’t sleep much because I want something for myself and what I want is hard. It has been hard and I have to keep on working without thinking about the end goal. I want to enjoy the journey. I keep meeting women. Some BEAutiful women. To get my creative juices flowing. But there’s one who is long gone and I keep on finding her in everyone I meet. It’s a problem. I know. I am working on it. Whatever.
I still haven’t figured out, what will be this post about. Maybe a writing ritual. Maybe about how creatives have that one driving force which is considered wrong. But a creative person can get away with it. Just like I heard it in one movie. ‘Every great artist is driven by different ambition. Might be sex, drugs, rage and the list goes on.
I have a ritual when I sit to write. few things I do before I sit on my ass to write. It can be anything sometimes. and sometimes it’s more like bleh. what even I am doing. But coffee and cigarettes are there. Then I talk with a few people and sit down to write.
But When I was young I was waiting for it to come. I romanticised the whole concept of it and I realised it will not happen unless I make it happen. So, I try to do it as much as I can so I have something to write about, with women around it’s even better.
I don’t even care if nobody reads this or not. Although, there’s a part of me which wants them to read. Praise me and all that shit. A walking contradiction for you. A little too late to figure it out but I did.
Life has been taking its time lately. Everything is happening at tit’s own time. And I have stopped wanting things. I mean I do want them but if I don’t get it I can understand because I get what I need in the end and it helps me get up in the morning. Well, that and my sleep schedule are fucked up.
I need a cigarette.
I remember the conversation I had with a friend of mine about my music and the genre I produce my music in. My writing influences all that jazz. We concluded that the kind of music I create is not yet been in the books so have to name it Bukowski rock. Because my friend thinks my writing is more out there and non-conformist. and talks about the things most people are afraid to show and music is Rocknroll. So yeah ‘Bukowski rock’
Just like every artist has a persona, I have that one and Thank God I am pretty. There’s a girl here in Hostel. She’s pretty and hot! I don’t know what I am gonna do but I have made my intentions known.