His situation is hanging by the thread. His emotions are out of place. Sometimes he wants to feel but he doesn’t get it. He tries and tries. He wonders if he’s capable enough of any emotion. Because most of the time he’s empty. The only time he feels something is when he’s making love.

This has been since he was a child. He was so angry because he couldn't do anything about the situation then so he forgot to be happy. His childhood was all rage and anger. Forget about love being a distant memory, he never really knew how it feels.

He found music. Took comfort in it and was made by it. He was kind of able to the emotions in it. But, some nights he thought about doing it. Just ending it. Maybe that would be easier. But it was too easy he thought so he didn’t.

Eventually, he learned to love. It took him a lot of time but he still thinks if he’s doing it right. He knows there’s no right or wrong. And everyone is different in their approach.

But the standards out there are crazy. He cares about nothing and everything at the same time. He’s a contradiction.

Somedays he feels empty. Like today. He’s empty. Nothing brings him joy today. Last night was a bit hasty. No taste and lots of unidentified energies. He wasn’t wanted there.