Another day, another story. Oh, how I am trying to keep up with my own. It’s fun and frustrating because I hold myself in high regard and I am always looking for things which make sense to me. It’s like finding a river in the desert. I have no money but a lot of problems. All I have is the will to keep going on and doing what needs to be done. The wants have taken a backseat and they enjoy the ride. I have not gained my demon but befriended him.
I only let him out if he behaves. I am not most of the time like this, it’s rather fun and rainbows. But they only come after a long day of solid rain and not without it. It’s true what they say. ‘There’s no light without darkness.
So I hug my darkness and let her in. She’s a mistress and likes to have fun. So do I.
every weekend it’s this or that. Walking or laying. There are some people who care. And I don’t understand why. because I have a knack for being alone. From time to time I need a woman. And I make my intentions clear. if it happens it happens if it doesn’t, we have the time to remember.
Somehow there are few writers to who I can relate. And if they were alive in these times they would've been cancelled because people are getting soft and can’t take a joke or understands the other person's situation.
One of the writers is Charles Bukowski. I have tattooed the first one of his poems ‘Bluebird’
“There’s a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out.”
Bluebird is used as a metaphor for the emotions that are there. But he doesn’t let it out. Because people use it against you. I'm putting a link to this poem by the end of this so you know. Because it losses its magic if I explain. and Poetry is to feel things which are there inside you but you don’t pay attention because you have work to do. For people like me, always have the audacity to put it out at the right moment and sometimes it’s usually when we are alone. We let our bluebird out sometimes at night, while it still sings a little and it can make a grown man cry but we don’t. We have something else. we keep on making art and moving forward.